Well there is a stack to report on but since I feel I have razor blades in my throat and am coming down with something that ends in -cillus I can’t quite be bothered with a serious run-down of all that has happened. I will say that my healing is coming along, far from alright, far from fit but getting stronger every day.
I’ve noticed a bit of an obsession with ghastly or graphic art in recent years, particularly on the part of the youth. Some of it appeals to me though not in any serious way. The leading subject matter of art such as this seems to be death: vampires, zombies, the living dead, being resurrected after death, blood sacrifice and other such morbid and dark subjects. I’m not sure where this trend came from but it certainly has been influenced in later years by the Twilight movies in particular I am sure. I’ve still not seen one of those films and I can’t imagine I ever will, as they simply don’t seem to appeal but I hear the rest of the world is in thrall to the extent of camping out on pavements etc etc to await the release of the latest film/book and it appears an entire sub-culture seems to have been founded upon the Twilight genre.
Anyway.. here’s one such pic as referred to above. [I’m not putting any warnings about graphic content, life is full of graphic content, look away or leap off a cliff if you cannot copre with this basic fact]. This one’s from deviantart (a very interesting website if you like dark or deviant subject matter) and is called UNDER REPAIR. In some ways this reminds me of the James Spader movie Crash, where he was erotically affected by stitches, accidents and injuries… as they say, there is a fetish for everybody in the world really hey? Would you ever imagine finding stitches erotically stimulating?!?! (I could hardly bring myself to look at mine let alone at anyone else’s and as for licking and kissing them… (I’ll find a pic for you of this from the film. Brilliant film that but don’t watch it if you don’t like the dark side of sex or homosexuality, or other such kinky shite). Anyway back to this pic:
K I could not find a pic of the great Spader licking the injury site but here is a pic of the legs that so attracted him, being marred, scarred and broken from an accident (accidents play a central role in this movie)..
What do you think of dark art, dark films, dark ideas, dark sex, dark pictures etc?
Got nothing much to say today. Bad news, more of Mike’s leg has to come off. Feel sick, worried, guilty, unhappy, worried about Moby who will be stuck in the room all alone, and most of all, helpless and afraid.
So I’ll just play this
Well it seems fitting to update my blog a month after my disappearance. On the 19th February I started bleeding very heavily during my period and the blood would not stop. Long story short and to avoid putting you off your food, I phoned the ambulance and was whisked off to Roseacres Hospital around ten that same night. The doctor who saw me in the emergency room told me there was no way I’d walk out of there without having a hysterectomy. I was crapping myself because of course I knew all this. Back in 2006 my doc had sent me to have a sonar as she had felt fibroids in my uterus and back then she told me I must have a hysterectomy. Unfortunately I had developed a pathological fear of operations and anaesthetic because of a botched operation on my late cousin Sandy, so I assiduously ignored all advice and carried on regardless. I knew it would catch up with me one day and as luck would have it, the 19th February was my day.
Anyway. A Gynae was appointed for me and he came along to my hospital bed on the Monday with his portable sonar machine. He could not keep from exclaiming under his breath as he palpated my abdomen and when he had finished the scan (which I refused to look at) he regarded me solemnly and said, no, this must come out..!! We have to take the whole womb out. He said he’d leave me to think about and but I knew if I thought about it I’d hoof it out of there faster than a monkey down a greased pole so I said “i’ll do it, book me please”. All the while chomping my nails, metaphorically.
I was so nervous as Tuesday approached that I can’t even repeat my feelings on this blog but suffice to say the operation was a success and I did survive it (More about that later). Gynae told me the following day that the operation was difficult and complicated and that it had taken three gynaes to get my very enlarged uterus out of me. He had pics of the organ and offered to show them to me but this news distressed me so much I nearly started crying (found out I can be a real baby despite being close to halfway to ninety) and I refused all offers to look.
when I read my pathology report in his office two weeks later I read the uterus was 250mm x 160mm x 130mm AND WEIGHED 4.22KG (NORMAL MEASUREMENTS ON AVERAGE: The uterus measures about 7.5 cm. in length, 5 cm. in breadth, at its upper part, and nearly 2.5 cm. in thickness; it weighs from 30 to 40 gm.) – MINE WAS MASSIVE!!!! Of course having ignored the problem for so long and being, as I am, a person who reads up and knows a lot about medicine, the next thing I knew I had to worry about was cancer. There was none. THAT was a tremendous relief.
Just talking about this is exhausting. At the moment I am recuperating under the care of my sister and mother… things are still hard and I still feel sick, tired and nauseous a lot plus I am dealing with terrible insomnia no doubt brought on my the bloody awful medicines they use for procedures like this.
I’ll carry on with this a bit later…
Good news is I’ve lost twenty kg as a result of all this so far