Nuther extract from my journal: Lauren left to spend some time in Jhb with her folks. From the start, the weekend went pear-shaped in regards to Ant. Although he couldn’t see much he knew, and I mean KNEW something was wrong, that she was missing. At that stage he could still walk. The problem came in the early afternoon; he refused food and demanded to speak to Loli.
In fact, when I look back; she was all he wanted and was the very greatest comfort he knew. Moms, Mums and Grans were important, but he called for his Puffin, all the time. In many ways therefore, the greatest load, and experience of Ant’s death fell upon Lauren. And in many ways we were not all that understanding which is a deep regret. More on this later.