All posts in the Humour category

Hysterical Karaoke – like a David Lynch Movie (Part I) : David Byrne comes to Town

Published 04/06/2012 by Saint

We had the most hysterical time at karaoke on Saturday night, did my sister, Antony and I.  None of us were as much in the mood for going as we should have been but by the time the floor opened we changed our tune rapidly because of the bunch of extremely eccentric types that suddenly materialised.

The dude who opened the singing was the seemingly self styled “Rocking Rick” and he took it upon himself to introduce his songs with a little bit of the history/trivia surrounding the artist, the era, the song meaning etc and he moved around the floor like a latter day Dean Martin, with all the flash moves and charming smiles to the audience which at that time consisted of like, five people, the three of us included.  He was very amusing.  Good voice but very amusing.

The next chap who caught our attention was this fella, who looked like the Tableview version of David Byrne from Talking Heads (he insisted on these pink sunglasses which he wore all night long):



HYSTERICAL!  HE WAS EVEN MORE HILARIOUS COS HE TOOK HIMSELF AND HIS MUSIC VERY SERIOUSLY.. (SORRY FOR CAPS)… He spent absolute ages poring over the files choosing his songs but at the end of it all I think we only heard him sing “You”ve Lost that Loving Feeling”   and Suspicious Minds, both of which he did in a way that had the three of us rolling around….

I forgot!! My sister recorded him!! he had this way of saying BABY in the “You’ve lost that loving feeling” song that had us roaring with laughter…  WordPress not allowing an upload but if I get it right you”ll hose yourself too and you”ll hear us in the background singing “BEBE BEBE” with him…. Might have to upload to FB instead…

I went to get the file from him and got embroiled in a conversation I couldn’t make head or tail of – felt like I’d consumed the better part of a bottle of brandy cos I couldn’t even begin to understand what he was driving at – seemingly he was saying the music was not what we expected, dunno if he meant in the files or on the floor, or the singers, or what… I just nodded  and smiled fondly at him and said Pardon a lot and then retreated clutching the file….

He had a sister who looked just like him except that she never had a smidgeon of his sartorial elegance and was dressed in pants and a pink top and looked like she’d just come out of the nearest bus stop or shelter under a bridge somewhere and she seemed to be his biggest fan… she was quite something in her own right…

Honestly, we felt like we’d had some acid dropped on us, the night was too much. I cant even go into the other people yet cos just playing the video of this bloke has my sister and I rolling around again.

Part II to follow…..

a scream!! really!!


The Library Problem and Me

Published 17/02/2012 by Saint

Have I mentioned the business involving me and libraries before?  There are several oddities that take place when I go into libraries.

You see, I love libraries and I love getting books but somehow I can’t seem to bring myself to get said books back to the library.  It’s not because I want to hang on to them; rather it’s a combination of not having the time when I have the inclination and not having the inclination when I have got the time.

This leads to a kind of impasse that can only result in one thing: the books becoming overdue, and then more and more overdue. Then I wait around and scrutinise the local papers to see when the next Amnesty is, but I always miss it, so the books fall into what an accounts clerk would call ‘past due’; not to say ‘urgently overdue, please pay now’.  Then there’ll be the problem of me not having the funds to pay the fine. Then I’ll inspect the papers again looking for an Amnesty (by this time six months can have passed).

Once Mike and his pals were all sitting around in our flat, drinking, playing rock music loudly and … errr….chewing the fat when there came a knock at the door that can only emanate from one source: The Law.   They gave a universally guilty start – all those men in the flat – opened windows and cleared bottles away while Mike nervously made for the door (some people are pre-disposed to run-ins [should that be runs-in?] with The Law and he, having been one of these people, knew the milk of human kindness did not spring from the breasts of said representatives of The Law).

Peering around the partly opened door which now contained a Foot Belonging to The Law, Mike apprehensively asked whether he could be of any service.  He asked for me,  The Law did. He wanted me for … you guessed it…. not returning my library books.  I think Mike and the guys in the flat were so relieved they all became excessively jolly, they may even have dragged The Law into the flat and offered him a sherry and thumped him on the back once they realised I was the Fugitive From Justice and not them.

I never hear the end of this story at home.  It gets hauled out of the cupboard and dusted off for every visitor, too, so it does.  And it was YEARS ago. After that all my library cards were cut up and I was made to burn them (oh the shame) and I’ve never been allowed another one.  LOL!


PitBull Smiles

Published 09/02/2012 by Saint

All pitbull owners will know the famous pitbull smile….

Moby has a ritual in the morning that he sticks to every day.  Once he knows we are awake he emerges from his blanky on his little bed.. slooowly stretching out his front legs then leaning forward and streeetching his back legs. Ears back. Calm and sweet smile on his face and in his eyes. He pads to Mike’s side, to say hello there then he pads to my side to say hello to me……

He doesn’t smile the full, wide pitbull smile (that I think is a silent laugh really) you usually see when they play. It’s a smaller version but very quiet and sweet.

Makes me feel happy just to see it.

………………vicious uncontrollable bastards that pitbulls are.


Published 06/02/2012 by Saint

I think I had a mini meltdown on Friday.

Happy to report I’m feeling better today after the rest over the weekend.  Mike looking very chipper when we went to see him, too.  When Richard asked how he is, he said LEGLESS.  LOL!!


That’s one of the reasons I like him.  His sense of humour. Despite the hair-raising events of the past week and the terror of enduring a serious op like that without general anaesthetic, he still sees the humour in the whole business.

My colleague was saying – in all seriousness – that it’s a good thing we can get a prosthesis through the guv’mint hospital or else it would cost us an arm and a leg. ROFL!

I phoned him to ask how his foot is.  I corrected myself in time but then told him I was going to ask how his foot is.  He said he asked the doc how his foot was looking the other day.  She said invisible… LMAO!

Day before his op he said to the young intern (who was a vibey and funny guy himself): “Now tell me, these blokes who are going to do the op; they do know left from right hey?  I assume? I mean I wouldn’t want to come out and find the wrong leg missing.”


Aaaanyway… in other news my flu loves me so much it still has not left.  Battle to sleep cos can’t breathe through nose; when can breathe nose runs like water…. you all know the tune, as old Neil Diamond would have said…


A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road. –Henry Ward Beecher


A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. – Hugh Sidey

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. Jessamyn West

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.  – Mark Twain