All posts in the Ramblings category

Following the Waves

Published 07/09/2012 by Saint

There’s a slight sea mist and a silvery glint on the waves.
There’s a boat that’s come to shore with fishermen wading in the water, they cast a striking silhouette in the strange light.
I wonder where they live
If they’re happy
If they beat their wives
If they have affairs
If they have dreams of singing hard rock or opera
If they love the sea.

Some days are filled
With questions
Strange imaginings
Some days
Just drift
Like seaweed on the waves
On a still day

Some days every exchange you have
Is loaded and exciting
Some days you battle to find anything to say at all.

All life is a series of waves:
Tides coming in
Neap, high, low, spring
Currents pulling and dragging
Throwing you on the sand
Where sometimes you lie like Ursula Andress in her white bikini being kissed with lust
And other times you barely get your feet wet

But the tides carry on regardless of your involvement
With them.
They were here long before
We were born
They’ll continue long after
We are gone

I don’t know if I find that comforting
Or desolate
Does continuity recognise us
Or are we just foam
On the waves?


Snowy Spacey Sutherland

Published 12/06/2012 by Saint

I’m at the Vida Cafe, love the music they play here…

You’re lucky to have me back actually after my stint in freezing Sutherland this past weekend.

Sutherland is a place in the Northern Cape Karoo region, for those of you who do not know, and it’s the coldest place in South Africa. The lowest recorded temperature was -16.4°C sometime in 2003 and when we were there the temp was close to -5°C!!

For more information on Sutherland in general, click here.

Sutherland has also been of interest to me for ages and I’m really glad I finally got to go there, because of the SALT telescope, the largest in the Southern Hemisphere, a third of which was paid for and is owned by South Africa, did you know that?  I knew we had some hand in it but I never knew we owned it.  We went on a tour that was led by a very interesting man who was clearly a scientist of some kind but who had that gift – unusual for intellectual giants – of being able to make his audience understand complex matters of science and astronomy with complete ease.  I never knew, for example, that all of astronomy that is of any interest to the astronomers is spectroscopy; without which the science of astronomy would be operating literally and metaphorically in the dark.

The tour started at the visitors centre and then we went up to the SALT telescope by car.  Snow was falling by this time, to our immense delight, so we travelled across a deserted, icy cold landscape populated with smaller telescopes dotted here and there.  The feeling was definitely lunar.  All of these telescopes are operated by computer, the smaller ones.

Then we went up to the SALT telescope:

At this stage the temperature was dropping, people!  Sjoe!

This telescope’s mirror is based on a new design, there are 91 pieces of mirror comprising the single Primary Mirror (the thing that looks like a patchwork quilt below):

Apart from the phenomenal ingenuity of the telescope itself (which is based on the design of the famous HET telescope in Texas) one has to admire the engineering that went into the building of the telescope.  Amazing. truly amazing what the human mind can conceive and build!    The reason the mirrors on the Primary mirror look like a patchwork quilt is that some are cleaner than others. They clean them with some regularity but the cleaning job itself can take three days, one whole day to get two pieces of mirror out at a time!  While we were there, two pieces were out for cleaning, so we actually only saw 89 of the 91 mirrors.

[While all this was going on my eye had been caught by a James Spader lookalike, more about him to follow]

Once we left the SALT telescope we walked into a blizzard!  I was so thrilled to be in a blizzard!  It meant more snow was falling than I had ever seen in my life!

haahahaaa most likely my American friends who have had to shovel their cars out of snow laden driveways more times than they can count are phoning around for white-walled places for me to spend some restful time in, but, ja, in Africa when we have seen snow, we’ve seen it already on the ground (in 1981 in some quantity) and never falling.  Well .. that is to say, I’ve never seen it falling…

me in blizzard (all the while plotting how to get this JS fella’s number, I was walking behind him, he’s in pic 1 below here closest to camera):


I had seven layers on!  I was fucking freeeeezing but having the time of my life….

Anyway I decided I couldn’t let the JS lookalike fade out of my hemisphere without at least trying to talk to him. He was with two older men, so in this blizzard I struck up a convo with one of the older men, while JS posed in the snow asking the bloke to take a portrait pic of him.  We managed to insert ourselves firmly into the proceedings cos the older man didn’t understand what he meant by portrait and kept holding the camera the wrong way but I understood he meant the opposite of landscape so I cleared up the matter and got a cute smile from JS for my troubles…..

Long story short, we found out that JS is an organist and music teacher and when I said I’d like to hear him play he told me I was in luck cos he was playing the organ the following morning in St Michael’s church in Observatory, they were doing a Mozart High Mass piece and we were welcome to come.

We did!  and more on that later.

All in all I really enjoyed the Sutherland trip.  On Friday when we arrived in town the skies were low, grey and black and as the night pulled in the place became more and more eerie and mysterious, and of course, increasingly frigid.  We met some people at dinner and they advised us to drive up to the Observatory‘s gate and see some stars, which we did.  On the road there we switched our lights off.  The darkness was a thick heavy blanket and the stars that appeared briefly out of the cloud cover could not be called stars, so dense and many they really struck awe into my heart.  We got out of the car at the gate, the night was pitch, pitch black and  I mean, I run out of adjectives when I try to describe the cold.  Icy, frigid, freezing, none of these words quite cover it .. I’m off to check the Thesaurus…hold on…

Icy gives us this (arctic might be the closest description for the air at the gate that night):

algific, antarctic, arctic, biting, bitter, chill, chilled to the bone, chilling, chilly, cold, freezing, frigid, frigorific, frost-bound, frosty, frozen over, gelid, glacial, glaring, iced, polar, raw, refrigerated, rimy, shivering, shivery, sleeted, smooth as glass

Another thing that struck me about Sutherland was the eeriness I referred to above.  Perfect setting for a film noir thriller….  I think I need to get back there… and write one, or at least a short story.

And did you know the poet N P van Wyk Louw was born there?

here’s his poem Ballade van die Nagtelike Ure:

Ons liefde het uitgeblom

tussen elfuur en kwart oor twee –

hier sit ek onder die dagbreek

half-nugter en verlee

op koel stoeptreetjies êrens

waar ek ‘n blink waterkraan sien

in die ure van die donker dors

tussen twaalfuur en smôrens om tien.

Om elfuur was jou liggaam

die honger en dors in my,

as jou skewe papier-kalot

ver deur die danssaal gly.

Om twaalfuur was jy ‘n ligte brug,

‘n hoë, gevaarlike gang

bo my klein verwildering

tussen pyn en sterwe gehang.

Om eenuur was jou hare

vir my vingers ‘n bose strik,

en jou lyf soos swart stil water

en jou asem soos ‘n snik.

En nou het die môre my

oor die rand van sy glas gemors

op die stoep by die kraan wat blink

in die uur van die donker dors.

Beautiful piece of work – how’s that line: “en jou lyf soos swart stil water..”!  Sjoe!!

well, the entire thing actually took my breath away.  Like the night air in Sutherland.

Hysterical Karaoke – like a David Lynch Movie (Part I) : David Byrne comes to Town

Published 04/06/2012 by Saint

We had the most hysterical time at karaoke on Saturday night, did my sister, Antony and I.  None of us were as much in the mood for going as we should have been but by the time the floor opened we changed our tune rapidly because of the bunch of extremely eccentric types that suddenly materialised.

The dude who opened the singing was the seemingly self styled “Rocking Rick” and he took it upon himself to introduce his songs with a little bit of the history/trivia surrounding the artist, the era, the song meaning etc and he moved around the floor like a latter day Dean Martin, with all the flash moves and charming smiles to the audience which at that time consisted of like, five people, the three of us included.  He was very amusing.  Good voice but very amusing.

The next chap who caught our attention was this fella, who looked like the Tableview version of David Byrne from Talking Heads (he insisted on these pink sunglasses which he wore all night long):



HYSTERICAL!  HE WAS EVEN MORE HILARIOUS COS HE TOOK HIMSELF AND HIS MUSIC VERY SERIOUSLY.. (SORRY FOR CAPS)… He spent absolute ages poring over the files choosing his songs but at the end of it all I think we only heard him sing “You”ve Lost that Loving Feeling”   and Suspicious Minds, both of which he did in a way that had the three of us rolling around….

I forgot!! My sister recorded him!! he had this way of saying BABY in the “You’ve lost that loving feeling” song that had us roaring with laughter…  WordPress not allowing an upload but if I get it right you”ll hose yourself too and you”ll hear us in the background singing “BEBE BEBE” with him…. Might have to upload to FB instead…

I went to get the file from him and got embroiled in a conversation I couldn’t make head or tail of – felt like I’d consumed the better part of a bottle of brandy cos I couldn’t even begin to understand what he was driving at – seemingly he was saying the music was not what we expected, dunno if he meant in the files or on the floor, or the singers, or what… I just nodded  and smiled fondly at him and said Pardon a lot and then retreated clutching the file….

He had a sister who looked just like him except that she never had a smidgeon of his sartorial elegance and was dressed in pants and a pink top and looked like she’d just come out of the nearest bus stop or shelter under a bridge somewhere and she seemed to be his biggest fan… she was quite something in her own right…

Honestly, we felt like we’d had some acid dropped on us, the night was too much. I cant even go into the other people yet cos just playing the video of this bloke has my sister and I rolling around again.

Part II to follow…..

a scream!! really!!

Fantastic Journey, amazing people!!

Published 29/05/2012 by Saint

Lately I’ve been on an incredibly interesting journey, both in my head and in my life.  During my marriage I developed a way of operating that was functional but not much fun.  I did all that was required of me (and a lot more) and I most certainly must’ve looked the part but I wasn’t engaged, wholly, not in my heart, or at least, not for a long, long time.  Not that Mike and I fought, we usually got on well, but there was a limit to our interaction… like a line drawn we could both see but never discussed.

In past weeks I’ve “met” a range of very interesting people and formed incredible bonds with a good couple of them.  The bonds were forged almost instantaneously and thoroughly, if I can put it like that; the result being an ability to talk to these certain people (and be spoken back to by them) in a curiously, thoroughly intimate way. In a way I never spoke to my husband in all the eleven years I’ve been married to him. And I’m not necessarily talking about sex here. I’m talking about me having opened myself up to any possibilities:  be they discussions, ideas, approaches, thoughts, wants, needs, knowledge, ignorance… just anything.  I’m open to it all.  I’m not closing any doors, I’m not avoiding, forbidding (mentally or vocally) any paths I or anyone else might want to walk down.  I feel almost as if I’m walking through a jungle, say, and someone just says oh, what’s down here?  and I say, I dunno but let’s go check. And we go check. And it’s fun. We laugh, a lot.  I woke myself up, laughing, last night.

The results of this …. what can I call it… this… unencumbered approach have been astonishing in that I find myself very very happy, most of the time.  I’m energised, I’m alive, I feel like I’m bubbling over with interest in everything around me.  My dreams are vivid, bold swathes of colour, form, the stories springing fully made, into my sub-conscious mind…

My pre-dawn walks on the beach with my sister and the dogs are also amazing! I mean I thought it’d be a schlepp, when we undertook to do them; I thought I’d battle to get up, battle with the cold, feel the whole thing was a drag but when you walk outdoors and see the blue velvet sky and the cold remote stars, and there’s hardly a soul in the streets but you, you feel like you’re really walking IN life.  Not past it.

Incredible journey.  Really amazingly incredible.

For all of you who are making it so beautiful for me – you all know who you are – thank you so very much.  This is really amazing!

And here’s my latest obsession.  Axl Rose.  Another red head!!


Sex Sites and Moi

Published 23/05/2012 by Saint

There are certain things that focus your own knowledge about yourself, in this life.  The dating game is one of those.

More lately I joined a sex site, as I got tired of the drivel the dating people spoke, all about moonlit walks and every singe last one of them a complete alcoholic by the sounds of it, especially those from the Western Cape.  There must be some cult going on down here cos they all seemingly love the beach, they are crazy about nature and the outdoors (beginning to wonder if “nature and the outdoors” isn’t some kind of dogdy sexual euphemism recognised by those in the know!), quaff huge quantities of red wine (no other drink will do, seemingly) and roll around in front of log fires day in and day out.  Cardboard cutouts, I found.  *snore*.

I decided to go to the source, so to speak. Put myself out there as looking for sex and see what I came up with.  You’d be surprised to hear the people I’ve found are better, more interesting and mostly more direct than on the rather tamer dating sites.  So far I’ve met two people, but meeting a third tonight.  The only awkwardness is that now you”ve said you’re in it for sex, you’re expected to, you know, have sex. ….. !!! LOL!    Well I’m not detailing YET what I have done about that one…. maybe you’ll get the lowdown on that in a blog to follow.

I will say though, that my searches have uncovered the following about my tastes in men:

  • I’ve always known I love slender men, lithe might be the word, not excessively built but defined, if you know what I mean.
  • Cant bear overly muscular men but have discovered I do like a bit of muscle
  • I also, conversely, enjoy large men, usually they’re quite jolly and good fun I find
  • I’m attracted to men’s mouths, if he has a hot mouth I look twice at the profile. Same goes for hands
  • MUST be intelligent
  • and funny if possible
  • and affectionate
  • maybe a bit wry, like he thinks the whole thing’s also a bit of a laugh
  • Prefer light coloured eyes, green being my favourite
  • Not keen on beards or stubble, like clean shaven, relatively hairless men
  • Having said that, not keen on shaved genital areas.  Seems a bit effeminate to me
  • would feel the same about bleached bum areas.  A bit toooooo much attention being paid to the nether regions, is my view.  leaves you to wonder how much goes on upstairs.
  • Quite like the guys with pics of their dicks in the profiles
  • Prefer circumcised to uncircumcised
  • Prefer younger men by far
  • They’ve got more energy
  • They’re sweeter
  • They’ve got no baggage (or little)
  • They seem quite clear on what they want and like
  • Avoid married men
  • Not keen on blonde men
  • Don’t like men who pose with their bums showing first.
  • Like pics of confident-looking men
  • Like decisive men
  • Like nice teeth

I’ll share more about my sex sites journey as I go along. Meeting someone else tonight.

Will apprise.

But ja, all this talk of sex and lurking about on sex sites makes you want to meet someone you can do this with:

Read the rest of this entry →

My weekend

Published 13/05/2012 by Saint

Things I did this weekend:


Met a man off a site on FB

Met another man off a site on FB

Kissed a man

Went to listen to the Cape Flats Tenors at Villa Pascal – awesomeness is not the word!

Tried to help my sister save someone from him/herself…  we’re not sure where we are with this.

It was poignant though

went shopping with my sister

ate a footlong roti filled with mutton curry bought in Mowbray

took part in an epic scene between my sister her boyfriend and some random chick who pulled up in her car and wanted to make demands on the boyfriend…  in some random street in Obs.  We (sis and I) were flanking the b/f and we just stood there in utter silence, well, we ALL just stood there while the chick sat in her car and tried to persuade the bf to go over to her; but the moment was epic and worthy of a film.  There was so much said in silence.  You had to be there but trust me – with the sound, the lighting, the street, the surrounds, the moment was film-worthy.  Even David Lynch-worthy….    Epic.

Ja and I made a new friend at this concert tonight.  He might think i am mad cos I was just sniffling crying periodically, with tears falling out of my eyes (I get very moved by beautiful music) and getting cold shivers.


At two lots of salmon (I’ll put pics up of some of these events tomorrow)

all in all a fascinating, moving, interesting weekend.

Me Mother’s Eccentricities.

Published 08/05/2012 by Saint
My mom is one of those people who has several very strong opinions about any number of things and she also believes it is her duty to impart her opinions at any given time to the people about whom she has formed them.  Over the years we daughters have learnt to just let her carry on, and all toe curling as a result is long gone.  ….
 Today we drove past two of the non-blind- leading-the-blind people that you see at robots these days and she said she can’t see why the one bod doesn’t go off to find work instead of leading the blind bod around all day and wasting the opportunity to make an honest living.  I said, ja, good point.  I never thought of it that way before.
Aside:  I have often wondered if the one ever gets annoyed with the other (in this case, the seeing one with the blind one), and ever consider – or actually does it – pushing him into the road in front of oncoming traffic and making off with the moolah.  Then I realised that was an unnecessarily complicated scenario cos the seeing one could simply cast the blind one adrift and waltz off with the moolah, the blind one, being unable to see, wouldn’t know how much money they had in any case nor could he give chase.  Though I did like the former scenario better, being, as I am, of bloodthirsty bent and evil intent…
hey!  that could be a rock song line:
I’m of bloodthirsty bent
and evil intent
[can have old Angus doing some of his famous jamming and duck walking to this].
But, where was I?
Oh ja, so Mom tells me she actually told one such bloke in Jo’burg – who was leading another blind bloke around  – her theory about economizing and cutting down on lazing about, expecting others to carry you through life.  She said he never said much. I can only imagine, I said, he must’ve been completely taken aback to be on the receiving end of such sharply expressed opinions from a little old lady so I am sure he was hard pressed to find a worthy rebuttal.. he was probably still scratching his head a she roared off into the traffic… if, indeed, she can be said ever to roar off… *snort*!!!
Too funny!  She never minds telling anyone her opinion; she addresses shop assistants, waiters, people who own restaurants (usually asking them to turn their music down and expressing the view that, in any case, what they’re playing is in fact NOT music at all nor does it or will it ever bear any relation to music…), managers, tellers, anyone whom she feels can benefit from a bit of the old sharp edge of her tongue.
and don’t for a moment think she’s only doing this all now that she’s older, I remember her becoming embroiled in a bitter exchange with another mother whose child had spat at my mother; strong words and opinions were exchanged in that aisle with my mother sniffing and administering the coup de grace as she walked off, saying, “well if you won’t teach your child how to behave someone else will have to!”
ja nee, she’s quite a card is she….